‎"Today many sisters are being called to serve. Many more are preparing to serve. Not because they aren't married or don't have anything else to do, but they have the desire to serve. One reason that the Lord wants more sisters to serve is because within the next generation, He will send His priesthood army to the earth. He wants to send choice spirit children to mothers who have been prepared, properly trained, and taught in the gospel. What better schooling can a mother have than the experience and growth she gains through serving a mission."
-Gordon B. Hinckley

I just want to go on a mission so bad, right now! But I know that I must be patient!

Break ups suck!

Throughout my dating experience, I had never had to deal with a "real" break up, until now. I have a few boyfriends off and on during high school which usually just ended in us not talking as much and moving on with life as if nothing had happened or changed. It was easy. The longest and most serious relationship I have been ended in him going on a mission, but it never really ended. We have been and still are on good term, we write often and do our own thing. If it works, it works; if not, it wasn't meant to be. But he is still gone and it is still unknown. I was recently in a relationship with a wonderful guy. He was caring and loyal, his family is so accepting and all so loving. His friends are super fun to be around. He has a great job, RM and is almost done with school. Perfect situation right? I thought so too but something just wasn't right. Still, I don't know what that "something" is but I knew that I just needed a break from relationships for a bit and I needed to focus on myself and my personal needs and wants for the near future. So I ended things. It was hard. I didn't want to but I knew that I needed to for some reason, and I did. Break ups suck. It sucks not having a person to run to, to talk to, to share exciting news with, to eat dinner with, to laugh with, to cuddle with. It would be nice just to say never mind and take it back. To call him, to have him again and to hang out but that is not an option right now. I know I need to stick this one out and focus on other important aspects in my life right now. The lord has something in store for me, I know it and I need to find out what that is without having other "voices" around having such a big influence on my decisions.

This song has been running through my mind throughout this experience:

"I Almost Do"

I bet this time of night you're still up

I bet you're tired from a long hard week

I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window

Looking out at the city

And I bet sometimes you wonder about me

And I just want to tell you

It takes everything in me not to call you

And I wish I could run to you

And I hope you know that every time I don't

I almost do

I almost do

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you

'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply

I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say hello to you

And risk another goodbye

And I just want to tell you

It takes everything in me not to call you

And I wish I could run to you

And I hope you know that every time I don't

I almost do

I almost do

Oh we made quite a mess, babe

It's probably better off this way

And I confess, baby

In my dreams you're touching my face

And asking me if I want to try again with you

And I almost do

And I just want to tell you

It takes everything in me not to call you

And I wish I could run to you

And I hope you know that every time I don't

I almost do

I almost do

I bet this time of night you're still up

I bet you're tired from a long hard week

I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city

And I hope sometimes you wonder about me

Goodness, I really wish I had more time to sit down and blog but with working 24 hour shifts 3 times a week plus working at the pool the other three days, it's a little hard to find time. When I am not working I feel like I have no energy to do anything or go out with friends so I just sit by myself and read my books. What a life right? It was been really hard playing the "waiting game" these past couple months and I have just missed Austin so much lately (sorry to vent) cause all I desperately want to do is sit on the couch and have a good, long conversation with my best friend. I definitely took for granted all of the little things he did for me before he left like coming over just to play with my sisters and laugh with each other. Those were my favorite moments and I can't wait for him to return just so I can have someone to talk to and laugh with!

well as I said, I'm quite tired so I am going to hit the sack. Goodnight bloggers. 

I HATE SIGNING UP FOR CLASSES AND BEING ON HOLD OVER THE PHONE WITH A FREAKING SCHOOL FOR 20 MINUTES!!!!! I QUITE!!!!!!!!!

it's been a while

Wow, I guess it has been a while since I've last posted anything on this blog. I feel like I go through spurts, for a month or so I will be really good at "blogging" but then I will go for months without typing a word, let alone look at my blog. I'm terrible, so once again I will try to be consistent and blog more often.

Although I haven't "blogged" in forever I still feel like there isn't much to say. I moved back up north from St. George in May and I am loving it. I do miss the social life in St. George but being down there made me realize how important family is and I was just to far away from mine! I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to go live down there for a year and it was a good time but it is very nice to be "home." I live in Draper now in an apartment above an Assisted Living facility. Sound pretty weird right? But my dad actually is part owner in this facility so I work at the "AL" three days a week and just live upstairs. It is such a nice set up. I like living on my own but still super close to home and I can have "sleepovers" with my sisters all of the time!

Well like I said now that I have started writing, I can think of so much to say but sadly I have to go get some school stuff done so I will have to continue writing about this list later;

• Shacie got married!!!
• Austin has been out for over a year!
• I celebrated my birth(:
• Happy Birthday America!
• Memorial Weekend camping Issues.
• Bray's birthday plus rodeo.
• Real Salt Lake game with the ladies.
• Work

And many more...

Be back later, have a nice day(:

Farewell;

Wherever you're going
I wanna go
Wherever you're heading
Can you let me know
I don't mind catching up
I'm on my way
Just can't take the thought of you miles away

And I know you’re going somewhere to make a better life
I hope that you find it on the first try
And even though it kills me
That you have to go
I know it'll be sadder
If you never hit the road
So farewell!

Somebody is gonna miss you
Farewell
Somebody is gonna wish that you were here
That somebody is me

I will write to tell you what's going onBut you won't miss nothing but the same old song
If you don't mind catching up
I'll spend the day telling you stories about a land far away
But I know

And I know you’re going somewhere to make a better lifeI hope that you find it on the first try

And even though it kills me
That you have to go
I know it'll be sadder
If you never hit the road
So farewell!

Somebody is gonna miss you
FarewellSomebody is gonna wish that you were here
FarewellSomebody is gonna miss you
FarewellSomebody is gonna wish that you were hereThat somebody is me

And I'm gon' try to hold it all in
Try to hold back my tears
So it don't make you stay here
I'mma try to be a big girl now
Cause I don't wanna be the reason you don't leave
Farewell
Somebody is gonna miss you
FarewellSomebody is gonna wish that you were here
Farewell
Somebody is gonna miss you
Farewell
Somebody is gonna wish that you were here
That somebody is me

Well Bloggers, it is Valentine's Day. Gag me. I've never really liked this holiday too much. I will admit that it is a good excuse to be able to go out to dinner and a movie with your loved one, but shouldn't you show people that you love them every day? It's a cute holiday but it sucks when you have no one to share it with ha. It has been a while since I have heard from my best friend (Like four weeks) and he told me that he sent my letter last Wednesday so I was totally expecting it to be in my mailbox Monday morning but no... a letter with my name on it was no where to be found. After being a little bummed out for a minute I came up with the conclusion that maybe he just sent it out late and it would definitely be here by Tuesday (today) and I thought perfect, what better day than Valentine's day to get a letter. While staring out my window this morning watching for the mailman, he finally pulled up. I got super excited and even a little nervous (lame I know, but it's been a while). I tried not to get my hopes up but I literally sprinted to the mailbox (I'm sure by now the mailman thinks I am a complete loser by running to the mailbox everyday but whate'er) I opened up the little box and...... NOTHING!!! ugh.. it was such a downer. After thinking about all of the possibilities again, I got thinking that maybe he wrote the wrong apartment number, like the one that I lived in last semester and boys live in there now and what boy in college checks their mail everyday? So it could still be sitting in the mailbox. Seems like a legit possibility right? I am highly considering knocking on their door, asking for their mail key and checking the mail myself. I know to most people this whole situation probably sounds super ridiculous but when you have a missionary, every letter feels like Christmas, especially if you haven't heard from them in four weeks. So because of that experience today I guess I have become even a little bit more bitter toward this holiday and to make matters worse.. while walking back to my apartment after checking the mail I decided that I wanted an Avocado sandwich (they make everything better) so I got out my Avocado, cut it up, and got the bread. When I went to slice my grandmother's delicious homemade bread I realized that it was moldy so I had to resort to having a salad. That was not a good moment for me. But life goes on. Sorry for all of the complaining. On the bright side I am going to see The Vow tonight with my roommates. I can't wait. Happy Valentine's Day everyone. I love you all. Have fun tonight(:

The other day I got thinking and decided that I have been really lame. I go to school, work, then come home and veg. I don't get out and meet new people, let alone talk to new people...so I told myself that I was going to be more social and.. it worked! In my humanities class the other day we had to get into groups and do a project. I thought great, perfect time to meet new people. Well, there were five people in my group, two of them were old and married, one was Jhena, my roommate, and other than me, the last one was this decently attractive, super nice young man. I built up enough courage to ask where he was from and we exchanged answers. Come to find out he knows some of my friends from Lehi, small world. Anywho.. the conversation led to church and missionaries and it so happened to be that he got his call that very day. He then randomly invited me to come to his house that evening to watch him open his call. I thought it was a little strange but what the heck. I decided that I should go to finally get out of the house and continue to meet new people. While at his house I found some other mutual friends and made new friendships. after leaving his house there was a pool party at my apartment complex (yes a pool party in the middle of February, you should be jealous.) I had to keep up the trend of meeting new people so I went and sure enough.. made some new friends. My new friends and I ended up swimming, baking cookies, playing call of duty, watching movies, having glow in the dark battles, and having nice heartfelt conversations. Tonight will be round three of getting out of my apartment and spending time with these newly found friends. Life is great(:

Pay Day..

Well after trying to survive off of fifteen dollars the past three weeks.. I finally got paid today(: I feel so rich, even though I'm not. Needless to say, I had to celebrate somehow and what better way to go spend the money haha. Shopping today was a success..

• Arby's food
• Work out pants
• Cardigan
• Hair, skin & nails pills
• Perfume
• Make up 

New Family Memeber

We recently added a new member to our family of six.. now seven. IT'S A PUPPY!! Her name is Princess Lola Sparkle(: (She was already named Lola, but my sisters added in the Princess and Sparkle) And do you know what the best part is?! She even has red hair (fur) too!!

Before her hair cut....

and after(:

Mondays are always my favorite days because I usually get a very important letter but... I haven't got one in over two weeks!! So... Mailman, please hurry today. I am in desperate need of a letter(:

Day four; what do I wear to bed..

Hmmm, well to be honest I hate it when I am trying to sleep and pants get all tangled and twisted around my legs so... I don't like to wear long pants or baggy shorts to bed and I definitely can't wear socks either. I usually just wear spandex shorts with an over sized t-shirt. I have to be under the covers or under a blanket even if it is extremely hot and I cannot sleep without my comfy pillow and my missionary bear(:

I watched Bananas In Pajamas all the time as a child(:

Day three; what kind of person attracts you..

You know how most girls have a certain "type" of guy that they are into? Like soccer players, basketball players, musicians, cowboys, things like that? Well I have decided that I have never really had a "type." All of the guys I have dated have been on complete opposite ends of the spectrum but as I am getting to the age that dating is taken more seriously, I have made a list of qualities that I want my future husband to possess:


- Return missionary

- Honors his priesthood


- Can take me to the temple


- Respectful


- Caring


- Loving


- Has a good sense of humor and can always make me laugh


- Hard working


- Good with children


- Supports his family


- Helps out around the house

- Positive attitude


- Slow to anger


- Forgiving


- He's got to be extremely good looking(:


- Spontaneous

I am so excited to see what the future has in store for me(:

Day two; how have you changed in the past two years?

Wow, lets see..these past two years have been crazy. Two years ago I would have been in the middle of my junior year, just about to have my major back surgery which definitely changed my life. Through that experience I learned that I have a pretty hight pain tolerance and that even though missing the rest of the school year sounded fun, it wasn't. I was bored out of my mind during those last two months of my junior year. I also had to learn a lot of patience because of that surgery. The summer after my junior year I met my very best friend, Austin Gleed. He has been such a blessing in my life. We have been through a lot together and I have learned how to love and trust others. I'd say we make a good team. Just this last summer i graduated from Lehi High School. It all came way to fast, I feel so old. In these past two years I have realized how important the Gospel of Jesus Christ really is to me and to always stick to my standards and not give in to temptation. Growing up an moving away from home was also a huge change in my life. I definitely had to learn how to be independent and responsible. I have also realized how important my family to me and how much I love them. I was so ready to be out on my own but I sure do miss my mom's cooking, my dad's kisses, my brother's jokes, and sleepovers with my sisters. I have learned to cherish every moment and don't take anything in life for granted. Love with all of my heart and live day to day with a smile on my face and a positive attitude. I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people in my life who have helped shaped who I am today. (:

Day one, things I want to say to five people.

1. Thank you so much for all you have done for me. You have been my best friend through everything and I would not be even close to where I am today without having you in my life. I am so grateful for the close relationship that we share. You have taught me so much and you continue to teach me something new everyday (I still need to learn how to cook better though, i miss your cooking.) I look up to you more than anything. You are such a strong person and you know how to handle things very well. You have such a strong testimony and you are a wonderful daughter of God. You are such a great example of forgiveness, charity, faith, and patience. I hope that one day I can follow in your footsteps and be the wonderful mother that you have been to me. I know that you will always be there for me and I will always be there for you. I love you so much mother.


2.You are such an amazing person. You are the hardest worker I know. You care so much for your family and you work so hard to make sure that all of us are taken care of. You have an extreme amount of patience with your children, i don't know how you do it. You treat my mom like a queen. I have seen so many qualities in you that i want in my own husband one day and you have taught me to never settle for anything less than the best. Your testimony is so strong and you love your Heavenly Father so much. I know you will do anything to make sure that our family will be together forever. thank you so much for all you have taught me throughout my life. You are such a magnificent person. I love you dad.


3. Words cannot explain how much I love you. You simply amaze me. I have never been happier in my whole life. Thanks to you I have one more reason to smile everyday! Since you have been away I have realized how much I really do love you and how unbelievably incredible you are. You treat me wayyy to good. I have never met another boy that has opened my door for me as much as you, actually listened to me and cared for me, and would do absolutely anything for me. You are so respectful towards all women and you truly do care about others. You love the gospel and your Savior with all of your heart. You have been such a wonderful blessing in my life and I am so thankful for the friendship that we have shared. Thank you for showing me how important this gospel is to you by sacrificing so many worldly things to serve a faithful mission. Thank you for all you have done for me, I miss you so much and I can't wait to see you again. 545 more days! I love you, cross my heart.


4. Grandma, grandma, grandma. You are probably the funniest person i have ever met. I knew we have our moments of stupid arguements but I really do love you so much. You have been through so much throughout your life, I don't know how you do it but you continue to smile and laugh everyday. You care for your children and grandchildren with all of your heart and you are willing to help out with anything. You have taught me how to stand up for what i believe in and don't give in to temptation. I am so grateful for our close relationship and for the wonderful times we have shared, espcially the late night JCW runs. I love you grandma, stay strong.


5. oh what would I do with out you? Probably go insane and never get any of my essays done, or make decisions very well ha. Since day one (that we started talking) we have just clicked. We just get each other and we are so much alike. Thank you for being there for me through this lovely college experience. You are one of my best friends and you have been a blessing in my life. Thanks for all that you do and remember.. Life's a garden, dig it. Love you!

Where is your humanity..

Okay, so I just need to vent for a minute, get something off my chest. I am 18 and I would like to think that guys (or boys I should say) my age would be decently mature and respectful but no.. Seriously guys, what are you going for. At this age aren't we all trying to impress each other to find that special someone? Cause half of these guys are just acting like they want to "get some" and I guess if that is what you want then Kudos, it will just be from a girl that acts just like you, no one special. But here's a hint boys, your not going to find that special someone when you don't hold the door open for a girl, say hi and even more important, thank you to a girl when she opens the door for you (yes that happened to me tonight with five guys, not one even said hello), and actually show that you care for a girl. It is just so sad that at my age I don't see that in even 1/4 of the men around town. Have some class. Don't get me wrong, there are a very slim amount of men out there that are very sweet. I just wish the "other guys" would follow in your footsteps :) Please and thank you!

I am so thankful for the wonderful guy that I have in my life and I would like to thank him for being so sweet and respectful to not only me but to all the other women in his life.

I am so lucky

Days to look forward to..

Semester Ends:
139 days
One year mark:
181 days
My birthday:
190 days
Austin comes home:
546 days :)

can't time just speed up and go by lots FASTER!!

Lil' old Leila

I think I am due for a blog update :) I will give a preview of my last few weeks. I am back down in sunny St. George and just started my second semester at Dixie College. So far it looks like it will be a good semester with some tough classes. Let's hope I pass them all. I moved into a new apartment with the wonderful, Jhena Shumway and a few others. New roommates can be hard but with time I hope we will all loosen up and make some great memories. Okay.. Now I will get to the point of this post, I just started working for a delightful "young lady" named Leila. She is 89 years old and her sweetheart of 58 years just passed away on Christmas day. She is heartbroken. Every morning Albert would wake up right next to Leila and tell her how much he loved her while kissing her on the forehead. They would sit in their Lazy Boy's every day, while sharing a blanket and holding hands, then at night they would lie down in bed together and fall asleep holding hands. How sweet is that? Can you even imagine loosing the love of your life that you have been holding hands with for 58 long, beautiful years? It would be terrible. Anywho.. I have been going to Leila's house everyday to visit with her for hours but just this last Tuesday she was admitted into the hospital with a very severe case of pneumonia. I have been sitting here in the hospital with her as she just wheezes and coughs. I wish there was something I could do for her. She is the sweetest lady I have ever met and I admire her so much. She has been through so much these past couple of weeks but she still has a smile on her face and a sense of humor even if she has to sit in this "dang hospital."

It's this cute girl's birthday today :)

I can't believe you're three!

I love you Brinn!